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July 8, 2015 humor•illustration•kids•motherhood

Conversations with my four year old: Volume 3

My kiddos (mostly the four-year-old) have said some pretty funny things over the last few months. I jotted them down so I could share some of with you.

. . . 

Anna (four years old): “Can I have some honey mustard for my apples?”

. . .

Anna: “My stomach hurts. It has a headache.”

. . .

Anna: “Mom, how do you say ‘I love you”?
Me: “I . . . love . . . you . . . ?”
Anna: “Thanks.”

. . .

Me: “What’s your favorite color?”
Anna: “Jelly beans!”

. . .

Me: “Why did you punch your brother’s chest?”
Anna: “I thought he was a drum.”

. . .

Anna: [handing me pebbles] “Take these and save them for the baby when he gets teeth.”

. . .

Anna: “I’m going to let my baby stay up early tonight.”
 
. . . 
 
Me: “What do you want to do for you birthday?” [which was in April]
Anna: “Celebrate Christmas!”
 
. . . 
 
Anna: [at dance class where she previously fell, got bloody lip, and chipped her front tooth] “Remember when some kids were swinging on those chairs and there was blood?
Me: “If by ‘kids’ you mean you, then yes.”
 
. . . 
 
Anna: [wearing a medal on a ribbon] “I got this medal cause we’re done fighting the civil war.” [I think that’s the only war she’s heard about.]
 
. . . 
 
Anna: [not wanting to get dressed] “I’m just going to be make-ed (naked) all day.”
 
. . . 
 
Anna: “I’m going to obey now. Sometimes four year olds make bad choices.”
Why yes, yes they do.

. . . 
 
Anna: [On the way home in the car] “I have to go peepee.”
Me: “How much longer can you wait?”
Anna: “About two more seconds.”

. . .

Anna: [mad at her sister]: “I don’t like you. You’re a duck. A watermelon duck!”
At least that’s the worst she could think of.

Anna: “Eiffel tower and townhouse rhymes!!” [so excited]

 
. . . 
 
Me: [to Anna after getting a toy for Silas] “Anna, you have inner sweetness, don’t you?”
Anna: [with a saintly expression] “Yes, I have lots of baby toys in my heart . . . I will rub his head with my foot.”

. . . 

Daddy: [to Anna] “Anna come snuggle with us.”
Anna: [hand out] “I don’t have a choice!”

. . . 

Anna: “I drew on the wall with a pencil.”
Anna: [five minutes later after cleaning the wall off with wipes] “I accidenally drew on the floor . . . but I’m sorry!”

. . . 

[on the way to Mamo’s house]
Anna: ‘They have water right?”
Me: “You mean inside water?”
Anna: “Yes, in case I get thirsty.”
Me: “Yes . . . Do you know anyone who doesn’t have water?”
Anna: “No.”

. . .

[After a post-dining-out talk about trying to have our best manners at restaurants so the servers don’t have to clean up our messes.]
Anna: “Well there was ice on the floor and I ate it, so that means I cleaned it up.”

. . . 

Anna: [Singing this song, which helped them learn the books of the Old Testament] “Genesis,  Exodus, Legenesis, numbers .  . .”

. . . 

Anna: “Mom are you edible for cheese?”
Some questions I just don’t know how to answer. I think she was referring to my lactose intolerance.
. . . 

Anna: “When I drink water it reminds me I want to be a queen, a queen and a mommy.”

. . . 

Anna: [to Daddy] “I love you in the morning Daddy.”

. . . 

Anna has been talking Sarah into doing crazy things for her. The other day she had her use a gel pen for eyeliner. Today she had paint on her arm and face.

Me: “Sarah why is there paint on Anna’s arm and face?”
Sarah: “Oh, that was an accident.” [Incredulous look from me]. “Well, the face was an accident, but she asked me to give her a tattoo on her arm.” 

. . . 

Anna bumped her chin on the corner of our island and had a little scrape.
Me: “Sarah, what did Anna do?”
Sarah: “I don’t know–I wasn’t watching.”
Anna: “I wasn’t watching either!!”

. . . 

Sarah has just started reading small chapter books and is very excited.
Sarah: “Reading is my life!”

. . . 

Sarah: [to me wearing a flowered skirt] “Mom, your shirt is pretty. Your skirt is really . . . interesting. It’s like a bunch of zebras running past. I learned that on Wild Kratts.”


. . . 

Sarah: [while cleaning the homeschool room where she has rest time] “I feel like a piece of trash. I feel like a piece of trash in the garbage. That’s how I feel about having to clean this room.
Well, thanks for the honesty darling.

. . .  

Anna: [picking up an acorn at the park]: “I’m going to take this home and science it!”

. . .

Me [to screaming Silas]: “It’s just a nap kiddo–not medieval torture.”

. . . 

Daddy: [to Anna] “Butter is not designed to be eaten as a separate meal.”
 
. . . 

And here’s one more from last week when we were watching the US Open with Daddy. I put this forth as evidence that we actually are influencing our kids in ways we don’t even realize. More is caught than taught.

Anna: “I want to eat dinner down here so we can watch golf.”

 

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