A fierce love for dark days
One of the lessons I’ve learned in this pandemic is that it’s okay to be gentle with myself. It’s okay to show myself compassion and care.
I’ve learned that my anxiety can get the better of me if I don’t pay attention to the warning signals my emotions send. In response, I have needed to allow myself extra rest and fewer demands (where possible, haha).
“The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.”
Psalm 145:8 ESV
I have been reading Aundi Kolber’s Try Softer*. Her book is full of practical strategies for treating your body and mind as a whole unit and the object of God’s love and compassion, a unit that works together in the way that God designed. It has been helpful to me in dealing with difficult and overwhelming emotions and staying within my “window of tolerance,” a concept that has been really helpful for me.
Specifically about the idea of God’s compassion for us, Kolber writes,
“Language struggles to convey the depth of goodness that is present in God’s character–the way we are wrapped in His love and the way kindness has always been a part of who He is. Pause here and really consider this with me–the kindness God extends to us is exactly as lovely as we dare to think. We don’t have to keep living from a narrative of self-hate when God looks at us tenderly, waiting for us to move toward His fiercely gentle love.”
This reminds me of the prayer in Ephesians 3:18-19 that the we would “comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge.”
If God is compassionate and patience and endlessly merciful with us, why would we think that a strategy or harshness, impatience, and criticism would work for us (or others for that matter)?
What fruit might come from spending a few moments focusing on the depths of the love of Christ for us today?
I love this prayer from Try Softer* that you can pray over yourself or someone else (or a whole community for that matter):
May __ experience Christ’s love.
May __ experience Christ’s peace.
May __ experience Christ’s presence.
May __ experience Christ’s compassion.
I think the beautiful words of this song are also worth meditating on:
If I Stand by Rich Mullins
There’s more that rises in the morning
Than the sun
And more that shines in the night
Than just the moon
It’s more than just this fire here
That keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger
Than this room
And there’s a loyalty that’s deeper
Than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs
That I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes
For the allegiance
I owe only to the Giver
Of all good things
There’s more that dances on the prairies
Than the wind
More that pulses in the ocean
Than the tide
There’s a love that is fiercer
Than the love between friends
More gentle than a mother’s
When her baby’s at her side
And there’s a loyalty that’s deeper
Than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs
That I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes
For the allegiance
I owe only to the Giver
Of all good things
So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can’t let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home
How lovely will you dare to think God’s kindness is today?
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